{"product_id":"ella-fellas-dont-cry-hoodie","title":"Ella Fellas Don't Cry Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eElla Fellas don't cry. There is simply a great deal of dust in most venues, and pollen counts have been historically high during ballads. This hoodie provides plausible deniability in fleece form for the fella who absolutely was not tearing up during the slow one — and a hood he can deploy the moment the bridge hits. We see him. We protect him.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe details\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGildan 18500 heavy-blend fleece — emotionally supportive, structurally sound\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e50\/50 cotton-polyester blend: cozy without the bulk\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-lined hood, rated for sudden onset feelings\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket — holds keys, phone, and composure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePill-resistant air-jet yarn that stays soft wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted to order in the USA\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eFits true to size with a relaxed cut; size up for the oversized fit that provides maximum emotional coverage. Wear it to amphitheaters, campfires, and any screening of a movie where a dog appears. It is the single funniest gift in the store for the tough-guy friend with a secret sad-song playlist titled something like \"gym mix 2\" — give it to him and watch him almost cry about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe scientific record is clear on this phenomenon. Symptoms present around the second verse of any song about fathers, dogs, or hometowns: a sudden fascination with the ceiling, a throat-clear with no medical basis, sunglasses deployed indoors after dark. Researchers note the subject will deny everything while gripping his companion's shoulder with suspicious firmness. There is no cure, and there should not be — the ballads are simply that good. The hoodie exists so he never has to admit it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare: machine wash cold inside-out and hang dry. Tear-resistant in the emotional sense only; machine wash handles the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted to order in the USA • Free US shipping on orders $50+ • Free priority shipping at $75+ • Easy 30-day returns\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ella Fellas","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":48684480954525,"sku":"76948673603631938939","price":52.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":48684481020061,"sku":"33523145766030599180","price":52.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":48684481085597,"sku":"27881028465380599444","price":52.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":48684481151133,"sku":"15523300696827066854","price":52.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":48684481216669,"sku":"18189400097299289773","price":54.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":48684480987293,"sku":"76895722651407840816","price":52.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":48684481052829,"sku":"32542229993749990560","price":52.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":48684481118365,"sku":"32257761195029548343","price":52.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":48684481183901,"sku":"55739250493296026628","price":52.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":48684481249437,"sku":"12781562899638256972","price":54.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/4799\/5293\/files\/13222396689698773200_2048.jpg?v=1784697153","url":"https:\/\/shopellafellas.com\/products\/ella-fellas-dont-cry-hoodie","provider":"Ella Fellas","version":"1.0","type":"link"}